For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents and only one for birthday presents you know.
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said 'Remember my son if you ever need a helping hand you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
The return of my birthday if I remember it fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.
Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.
My biggest hero Gregory Peck was my birthday present on April 14 1973. I just sat and stared at him.
I binge when I'm happy. When everything is going really well every day is like I'm at a birthday party.
I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent and there were 150 people waiting for me all wearing masks of my face.
In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.
I used to be good with kids but as I get older I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party you couldn't pay me enough.
My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
Only then approaching my fortieth birthday I made philosophy my life's work.
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday I wanted to be 65 again but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.
I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down wrote this song and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party and I'm thinking 'Hey I've still got it.'
Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.
You know maybe I was just born in the wrong time but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room.
Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.
I just had my 30th birthday and we went turkey shooting. It's what I wanted to do so we went.
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down wrote this song and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.
Some people won't go the extra mile and then on their birthday when no one makes a fuss they feel neglected and bitter.
The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you're only as well as you are.
All my favorite stars my family and my friends are here. I'm having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have.
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time then two years later you'll be like 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'
As I approach my 88th birthday it's become apparent to me that my eyes and ears among other appurtenances aren't quite what they used to be. The prospect of long flights to wherever in search of whatever are not quite as appealing.
When I was a kid for my birthday every year my mother made me pasta bechamel which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.
I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible and I cried for three days.
You know we'd just had a birthday he was you know he still had a future out of him and all I can is he was just one of the most beautiful people in the world a very gifted man and it's a loss to the world not just for us.
I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books; I have had fans send me birthday cakes sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage.
It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator our very self-consciousness is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.
For the youth the indignation of most things will just surge as each birthday passes.
My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion.
My second play The Birthday Party I wrote in 1958 - or 1957. It was totally destroyed by the critics of the day who called it an absolute load of rubbish.
I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum play a kazoo and sing 'Happy Birthday' to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips.
I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest but when they told me I could never have sex not even on my birthday I changed my mind.
I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff.
The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down wrote this song and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.
I wasn't very good about juggling family and my career. I was interested in who was coming to the children's birthday party what my son was writing. I was thinking about Legos.
Every year on your birthday you get a chance to start new.
All the world is birthday cake so take a piece but not too much.