Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.

God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of girls university :p

Man1 sitting with dog.
Man2:Your dog bits?
Man1:No
Man 2 sits and the dog bits!
Man2 angrily, you said he does not bit!
Man:That is not my dog.

Why were males created before females?

Because you alwas need
a rough draft before the final copy.

A lawyer saw an auto accident on street.
He rushed over and started handing out
business cards saying:
I saw the whole thing..
I will take either side.

The devils challenged
the angels to a game of cricket.

We have got all the cricketers, said the Angels.
Devils:No problem,
we have got all the umpires.

Boss:I will give you Rs.25 an hour starting today
and in 3 months, I will raise it to Rs.50 an hour.
When do you want to start?
New employee:In 3 months.

Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Major:Excellent!
We can attack in any direction now!

A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.

Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!

Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!

Major Rohail:
Dude EGGS are extra salty today€¦
Tooo much Salt..why?
.
.
Waiter:
Sir hen is suffring from high blood
Pressure

A boy goes to see a dance.

His mom angrily asks him:
Did u see anything there that
u were not supposed to see?

Boy: yes, I saw dad!

Boy:I love u
Girl:Me too
Boy:Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho?
Girl:Jitna tum mujhe karte ho
Boy: U cheater..
main samjha tum waqai mujh se pyar karti ho€¦

Lovers sitting in a park,
boy tries to kiss the girl..
Girl says No dear not all this before marriage..
Boy: Don€™t worry darling €I am already married€.:p

Teacher. Bachon wada kro cigrett shrab nahi pioge.
bachey:nahi pienge.
Teacher:larkio ka pecha nahi karoge
bachey:nahi karnge
Teacher:un pr awazen nahi kaso ge.
bachey: nahi kasenge.
Teacher: apni zindagi watan pr qurban karoge.
bachey: karenge,asi zindgi ka karna bhi kia he.

What is BUSINESS ?

Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: then Ok.

Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok

Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President:No
Dad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK

That's business...!!

Thought of the day:
"if u help a gal when she is in problem,
she will always remember u
only when she is in problem again..!!"

Employer: €In this job we need someone who is responsible.€

Applicant: €I€™m the one you want.
On my last job, every time anything went wrong,
they said I was responsible.€

A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question with the class:

When I say "I am beautiful", which tense is it?

One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

1 day u'll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME...
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Man standing on the scale,
holding his stomach in.
Wife:I do not think that is going to help.
Man:Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?