There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
Everything in life is somewhere else and you get there in a car.
To attract men I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."
I am not afraid of death I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like comedy movies are just 'Oh Jesus.'
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party and I'm thinking 'Hey I've still got it.'
Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.
Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course if you dig deeper it's really how it works.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Older people shouldn't eat health food they need all the preservatives they can get.
I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about he goes off and gets married.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys another sells and both think they are astute.
The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized but almost every minority I know who's my age they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.
No no I was only funny on stage really. I I think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know when I was a child up to about the age of 12.
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Screaming at children over their grades especially to the point of the child's tears is child abuse pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing scarring disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.